In my bedroom

 

“I have no will to weep or sing,

No least desire to pray or curse;

The loss of love is a terrible thing;

 They lie who say that death is worse.”

                                                                                   - Countee Cullen

If you ever walk into my bedroom of my parent’s house where I have spent all my childhood and teenage years you will come across a life size poster of Aishwarya Rai (Former Miss world turned actor), a photo frame portraying a group of plastic smile laden faces which bear no resemblance whatsoever with the people who live in that house today and last but not the least a closet stuffed with toys….the sole guardians of a once-existent childhood. Even today when I visit my home, I would take them out for a breath of fresh air, clean the puppet’s clothes and cuddle with the soft toys, try operating my electronic puppy and remote controlled Ferrari and even try shooting with a handgun labeled ‘James Bond’

And if you have a closer look, somewhere hidden behind the toys you will see something unexpected; a doll in pink satin gown and embroidered white laces. I still remember that morning when my father had almost packed the doll; it was a birthday gift for his boss’s daughter. I wanted him to leave it behind but he paid no heed. He repeatedly said “You are a man, and men don’t love dolls. Finally I had managed to emotionally blackmail my mom who wittingly saved the doll as a beautiful showpiece for her living room. My dad left the next day with a new one, my brother bullied me for a few days and my mom bargained for better grades in my class… they all forgot about this incident without the slightest anticipation of what was becoming…Click here